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Welcome to the Nakedbox, where NDL answers your most vexing questions.
8/03 --> The Nakedbox is being repaired at the moment as we have just moved to a new server.
In the mean time, check out some older NDL advice!
Want to ask the Llama a question?
Click here!
This Month's Llama Wisdom
Q: |
What separates llamas from other species of the animal kingdom? What animals would you consider your equals (if any)? Which species do you despise? |
A: |
I despise no species. I deal with each animal according to its personality and its life choices. I consider all intelligent creatures to be my equal.
NDL
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Q: |
What is your favorite Eminem song, and who is the person or thing you are most afraid of? |
A: |
I like classic Slim Shady, before he went bigtime.
I'm most afraid of intolerant, mean humans who don't know what they are doing and don't listen.
NDL
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Q: |
What are your plans for Christmas, and what do you hope Santa will bring you? What will happen to all the world\'s \"naughty\" llamas? |
A: |
Each year I end up holding the fort at the North Pole and helping out the Reindeer Liberation front by donning a Red Nose and helping the elves with their protest.
Santa's not giving the reindeer adequate health benefits and I fear they may contract chronic wasting disease so I go out of my way to help them.
NDL
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Q: |
How do I know if a girl loves me? |
A: |
Ask.
NDL
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Q: |
if i was a naked dancing llama would you be attracted to me?? |
A: |
If I was a human would you be attracted to me?
NDL
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Q: |
are you really behind Kennedy\'s assassination??? |
A: |
No -- that was sad and before my time.
NDL
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Q: |
Do you like Harry Potter? |
A: |
Yes, but not as much as Michael Jackson. (FEAR). Run for your life Danny boy!
NDL
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Q: |
im always naked cause i want to be... why are you naked??? |
A: |
Because I want to be too.
NDL
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Q: |
was the first moon landing really a fake? and did llama\'s have anything to do with this huge conspiracy? |
A: |
1. The first moon landing was real.
2. It was the first landing for humans. Llamas had been there several centuries earlier.
NDL
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Q: |
how do u feel about water buffalo? |
A: |
At least when the Native Americans slaughtered them, they found a use for every tiny piece. Now they are just the punch line of lame jokes.
NDL
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Q: |
are llama\'s really very flexable? |
A: |
Those that do yoga are extremely flexible, others that do not frolic as much are not. I myself am very pliable and and am working on some gymanstics routines in my spare time.
NDL
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Q: |
how do u feel about this: penguins riding llamas on a field of water buffalo surrounded by emus? |
A: |
I would weep because it would remind me of the Lion King.
NDL
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Q: |
I can\'t find any clean trousers. Ideas? |
A: |
Travel to Istambul and buy new ones from Istambul because they are cheapest.
NDL
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Q: |
hey NDL!
i love you!
since you have connections in the animal world that i do not, could you please stop the kangaroos from taking over the world? they are trying to, every friday night they come to my town and they have their babies in thier pouches throw hand grinades and shoot machine guns at us (they have very bad aim). i\'m worried that one day they will get better aim and take over the world! and that wouldn\'t be cool! could you please do something about it? thanks so much! i love you!!!!!!
~scared of the kangaroos |
A: |
Thanks to a new really poor movie starring Jerry O'Connel kangaroos are about to get a very bad rap, and I'm not worried about them as this movie will reveal that they should all be jailed and the authorities will take action.
NDL
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Q: |
Will i marry a hott chick o llama of nakedness? |
A: |
If she is wearing a a wedding dress made out of wool.
NDL
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Q: |
will my parents ever be nice to me? |
A: |
When you start being nice to them.
NDL
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Q: |
What will the new year (2003) bring for me? (Give me your forecast, predictions or advice please.) Thanks! |
A: |
Mostly cloudy with a small chance of percipitation in the early months. I predict that you will get less sleep next yaer than this year. You will also eat more macadamia nuts because I just told you to eat them.
NDL
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Q: |
Ok, mr. big shot llama buddy, if u know all like i used to think, what does \"Personne Peut Etre Meilleur Poir Moi Que Vous\" mean? Some girl said it to me, and i really need to know o bunghole! |
A: |
It means "Nobody can be better for me than you." She must really like you.
NDL
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Q: |
When you say that you are naked does that mean you are furless or that you just don\'t wear any clothes?- A devoted frolicer |
A: |
It means that I am naked in the spiritual sense as well as the physical, naked to the world, baring my soul, and naked as in not wearing any coverings. My fur is kept trimmed and I use Paul Mitchell products exclusivly to maintain its sheen, which is especially humorous since the bottle says not tested on animals.
NDL
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Q: |
Dear naked dancing llama.i love you.please tell me if i will ever get princiables list(straight a\'s)thank you oh dancing llama |
A: |
Dear Hugabug,
If you study very hard and don't miss any assignments (Very important) you can get straight A's!
NDL
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Q: |
I like this guy but I don\'t think he likes me. We think each other\'s hot but we\'re just friends. Should I try to flirt with him to let him know I like him? |
A: |
Yeah, be playful and see where it goes. Playful frolicking can be done and you save the friendship (instead of being all super direct about it). Just don't get your hopes up TOO far and go with the flow.
NDL |
Q: |
When did poodles roam the earth? |
A: |
Hello traveller from the distant future after the nuclear holocaust. Poodles romaed the Earth from the early centuries of the Plastizene era to the Nuclear Holocaust of 2350, where the last one was fried.
Sincerely,
NDL
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Q: |
I have always wanted to frolic. God knows I have even tried to frolic. But, for some reason, life\'s weight forbids it. What can I do to acquire the light of the Llama and learn to be one with the frolic? Please help! |
A: |
Frolic starts from the inside out. Frolic on the inside and then learn to get in touch with your senses and soon you will find yourself frolicking on the outside.
NDL
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Q: |
Oh wise llama, I come to you seeking the gift of your wisedom during troubled times. I myself, a humble and modest being of the human species, find the male \"species\" incredibly perplexing. Could I trouble you for some insight? |
A: |
The male species are very simple to understand, however the simplicity of their thought often disgusts the female of the species so much that they look for a depth that is neither there nor do the males actually want to be there.
NDL
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Q: |
Will i get a boyfriend? |
A: |
Yes, but make sure that the one you got is not from a boyfriend shop,a s they mistreat the boys early on before they sent them to the stores.
NDL
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Q: |
Okay, my proble: guys. I have three guy friends who are also very close friends to each other. Now, Guy 1 asked me out and I don\'t really like him so I said no. Guy 2 was then assigned the job of figuring out why I didn\'t want to go out with him. So guy 1 had guy 2 ask me all these questions and then we started talking and I started to like him more as a friend. Now, guy 1 got pissed because now apparently guy 2 likes me now. However, Guy 1 asked me if I liked guy 3 right after I turned guy 1 down. I said no because I didn\'t want to hurt his feelings. However, I really do like guy 3 and all my friends says he completey flirts with me and likes me. I really want to go out with guy 3. My question is is it right to go out with guy 3, even if it could really offend guy 1 and diss guy 2? |
A: |
This is very easy. Move to Jamaica with guy 4.
NDL
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Q: |
My love life has gone to the pits. I cant get it up no more. What should I do? |
A: |
Talk to Bob Dole, he would know what to do about that.
NDL
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Q: |
Are you a fan of Martha Stewart? What are your feelings on her current controversey? |
A: |
Martha Stewart cannot frolic very well. She's stuffed her bra with money that makes it impossible for her to move or wiggle. That money she got is from shady business deals that she shouldn't have been greedy and gotten into in the first place. Get yourself Regis Philbin wear. I can't, because I am naked.
NDL
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Q: |
can I be your friend? |
A: |
Yes.
NDL
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